


Supernova

by pandafarts



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Light Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 19:29:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14600109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandafarts/pseuds/pandafarts
Summary: You would fumble and fail, and you looked at me like I was a supernova with starlight in my soul.You really think I didn't notice? You still look at me that way.





	Supernova

I lied when I said that I didn't remember Yakov's class with you. In all honesty, I still blame myself for an embarrasment I didn't even create.

It's not like she ever hit me. Didn't ever do the whole "bad touch" thing either. Gotta give her credit for that. Just ever since Dad left, she didn't really do anything. Other kids got stuff like new clothes for school, or new gaming systems, or antibiotics when they got sick...

Mom never asked anyone for help, and eventually Grandpa noticed and then I lived with him. Things got better. 

But before they did, I was still in Yakov's class, the one where my "soldier eyes" apparently inspired you. You, who couldn't do much of the class at all. Clumsy and gangly you. You would fumble and fail, and you looked at me like I was a supernova with starlight in my soul.

You really think I didn't notice? You still look at me that way. 

Whenever we broke for lunch, I'd find something else to do. It was easy to hide, if I did more stretches or pushed my food around, but mom didn't really pack me much. There wasn't enough money. I used to tell myself it wasn't her fault, but everyone else had a bunch of food, or money for food, and I couldn't help but blame her.

And you... stupid, intuitive you. You would slide half your sandwich to me everyday until Yakov noticed I had almost nothing and took action. You never said anything. You just did it. Thank you. I was always so embarrassed,but I looked forward to it. Not solely because I was hungry,but because you, being around my age, saw my basic needs better than my mom did.

And you still do that.

You still look at me like I have stars behind my eyes. And I'm not stupid. I know what it means. I know why I hold on too tight when we're on the bike. I know why I borrow your jackets and don't want to return them. I know why my smile reaches my ears when we take a selfie. I know, okay? I'm not a dumbass.

Mila looks at you that way too. Maybe a little hungrier though, which I'm nervous about. I'm less jealous, than I am concerned she'll hurt you.

Actually that's a lie. I like her, not like that, though. She's a decent human and maybe you two should just be together already because she's pretty and tough and things I'm sure I'm not. These days I'm fumbling, and getting mad at everyone. What's appealing about that?

The more I ride with you, the longer I keep your hoodies, the more I know that I am totally screwed. If I can commit the feel of the vibrations of the motorcycle against your back, memorize how you smell, then maybe when you find someone as beautiful as you are, I'll have enough to survive.

You look at me like I matter. It's a look that gives more than it takes. You ask me for nothing, and it sometimes makes me want to give you whatever you're too kind to ask for.

But what do I know? About how you feel.... You said we were alike and you wanted to be friends. I'm just a supernova with stars in his eyes, and no lunch.


End file.
